(MOGS) My Belated Jump Into the Fray

I want to apologize to the Pigeon in advance for any hate mail this one may generate.  If you don't like what I say here, please direct it at _me_ not Pidge, and I'll leave it up to him to allow this post or not.

These are my thoughts on the whole "beautiful people, the beautiful people" (dada-da-dadum, dada-da-dadum) thing... This will be in two parts - Part one will likely offend some, as it will come off like I'm defending the site in question, well, I am to a degree.

Part two will explain what I think the site actually says about the people who would sign up for something like that.

Part I

I'm really, really sorry to admit this, but the whole concept doesn't offend me nearly as much as it probably should have (insert movie special effect sound of needles scratching records). 

Here's why.  For starters, at at least to me, the whole website doesn't represent any immediate threat to my self-image, or cause me any (additional) existential angst.  That I can muster up on my own.

If this was the vanguard of some new social club or lodge, or organization with an actual physical presence out here in the RPC, I might be more concerned.  If I lived in Hollywood or Manhattan, where many of these people may congregate and rule the scene like it was high school, then I might be more concerned, but I don't.  This just doesn't really seem worth the effort of getting angry.

I actually appreciate the honesty associated with this website.  It is exclusionary and doesn't even pretend to be tolerant, or all-inclusive, or make any attempt to be fair or appreciative of differing views.  This doesn't make it right, or I guess I should say fair, or even pleasant to those of us who liked to look deeper into personalities and the substance of what really makes a person, but you know what?  Here, at least, I can see the "face of the enemy" as it were, and it's not trying to hide behind a pretentious falsehood or veneer, which in my mind, is ten times worse. 

Why is this such a big deal to me?  As someone who's spent years "on the outside looking in" of the punk rock and indie music scenes, asa wannabe participant, and by turns loving and hating it, I've come to realize a few things.  1)  ANY community that tries to sell itself as "all-inclusive and tolerant" or "respectful of all ideas," "do what you want, make your own rules" is a load of (PIGEONED).  All communities are exlusionary to some extent, there's either a doctrine or dogma to adhere to, rites of passage or price of admission. I think most social groups, cliques, and communities these days in the PC-driven "guilt" era, at least pay some lip service to diversity or may have achieved a rather high level of it, but fact is, almost all social groups are exclusionary to one degree or another, most just lie to your face about it. 

I would say, for example, that the American modern punk "scene" is one of the worst culprits.  The idea of "no rules, everyone is accepted" is a complete joke - one look at punkvoter.com, moveon.org, or just a basic perusal of most punk bands and lyrics should give you an idea real quick about accepted political stances, bands to like, dress and appearance, attitudes, etc.  "Let's all non-conform together, but yeah we're like tolerant and accept everybody" (and here's the kicker), as long as....they dis Reagan, and play really fast, and hate Ted Nugent. Don't even get me started on your average straight-edge or hardcore group.  If the average punk enclave really gave a rat's (PIGEONED) about tolerance and acceptance, wearing one of these should be just as valid a stance as one of them.

Don't take my word for it, read this well-written article.

Okay MOGS, what does punk rock have to do with a website of beautiful shallow elitist wusses?

Let's all admit to some basic truths.  Everyone wants to be "beautiful" in some way, and whether we're indie rock mavens disgusted by Britney Spears or "perfect 10s", we all want to associate ourselves with people who confirm our positive self-image, our beliefs, and who will generally nod their heads and say, "right on!"  We all want that to some degree.  Few, if any, of us have a self-image so powerful that we can sustain our confidence and personal belief schema without any external affirmation at all.

Also, none of us may want to admit it, but like it or not, the world doesn't work the way we were taught it worked in Vacation Bible school, school assemblies, Superfriends or the end of G.I. Joe episodes.  We all know that it's what on the inside that matters, not the outside.  Yeah, well how many job interviews has that little piece of wisdom ever scored you?  Whether it's a result of biology or the reproductive drive, and all the psychology associated with it, appearance does matter to a large degree.  Attractive people get jobs, get more dates, climb the ladder faster, get away with a lot more than the average joes and janes around.  Is it fair, no.  Will that always be the case?  Who knows?  Does it seem like our culture is more shallow and image-dependent today that it ever was, I don't know, it may very well be.  They say pop culture runs on a 20-year cycle, so we must be in a redux of the self-centered yuppie crapfest of yesterday, but it does seem to me like the amps have gone way past 11 this time, especially on the "lack of concern for your fellow human"-meter.

Would we be all as upset if the website was a "Hot Goths only" site? (I guess there's always Suicidegirls).  The beautiful, in there own way, get lonely and want to connect and network with others like themselves, why is that so bad?  Because it's out on the internet which is still trying to hold onto its origins as the _one place_ where misfits of all stripes can go be themselves?  The first time someone made a dollar from this thing, that ceased to be the case, c'mon.

Here's the deal:  ask yourself why does this bother you?  Is it because deep down you want to be part of a group others are envious to join?  Are you mad that "they" have appropriated a method typically employed by the geekier social strata to accomplish the same thing?  I'd like nothing more than than the (PIGEONED) creeps to stay away too, but at the same time, getting upset about it has a hollow ring to it not unlike the "Sheep you're all sheep!" girl ranting and raving in that "Can't Hardly Wait" movie.  "Alternative" snobs are just as shallow, don't kid yourself.  Everyone's a poseur to some extent.

So the popular kids got themselves a website.  Who friggin' cares!  We're NOT in high school anymore.  It'd be nice to be the one who "goes between the tribes" and brings about that mythical "unity" Operation Ivy used to sing about and the age of aquarius, but odds are, it ain't you or me, and I don't see the pretty ones lining up on their side either.  I'd rather leave it be, all things considered.

What REALLY bothers me about it are:  1) most of our social norms and attitudes were formed in the compulsory education system  2) this system has been in place for over a century 3)  As a people, we all act surprised and shocked when we see less than admirable attributes of that system displayed at work, at play, social gatherings, (it even happens in the military).  The social constructs of cliques and "tribes" if you will, is so ingrained into us, for better or worse, we should _not_ be surprised when it plays out in adulthood.

Part II

Okay, I am NOT going to defend what we've decided to label our "cultural elite."  I personally, would like to run every person on this site, and the REAL targets of my cultural ire, the (PIGEONED) wastes of skin on "The Real World," "Road Rules" and other reality soap-operas through an honest-to-god old school Col David Hackworth-worthy boot camp to see what they're really made of.  I am sick of hearing whiny yuppies who piss and moan about how hard life is when all they have to worry about is who's hooking up with who first, who said something insensitive, who's boss is a tyrant, etc.  They are so divorced from the basic reality around them it's unbelievable.  They seem to believe that the little plastic bubble universe they live in is all that matters.  The Pigeon and I have spent some time overseas, in and out of combat or combat-support jobs.  When you meet people who don't know WHERE THEIR NEXT MEAL is coming from or who are being SHOT AT, it puts life into a whole new light.  I laugh when I hear these overgrown adolescents talk.  I also scoff at many of the "causes" they are so prepared to "fight" for.  Having a "cause," in my experience, seems to translate into growing up a bored kid in the suburbs, and having so much wealth, affluence and opportunity handed to you that guilt and/or free time encourage you to "get involved" in about anything short of actual sacrfice.  I know this isn't true for everybody, and is a broad generalization, but it just seems like the priorities of certain elements of society are just way out of whack.

I honestly wish there WAS a draft, or some sort of compulsory service of some kind, so we'd produce less of these effete elitists who look at those down at the worker bee level actually "gettin 'er done" as lesser people.  Our last 40 years has been about producing a new aristocracy, and now that we've got it, we have to learn how to deal with it.

Comments

[Jane]

interesting post MOGS I've not looked at this website and to be honest even if I could I wouldn't want to join it, I would rather be with interesting people than self identified beautiful people or even self identified "clever" people such as Mensa members (Do you have Mensa in the States?)

You are right we all do like to hang out with people who we agree with it may be only one thing that unites us for instant one of my best friends votes for the conservative party and is a Christian and I'm most definately not but we have the same sense of humour so we are friends. (I'm British as you can tell by the spelling!)

As for living in a plastic bubble don't most people? Most of us in the west are fortunate enough never to have seen or experienced war or extreme poverty so we never been woken up to it. However I don't think the draft is the answer after all do you want a bunch of bitching recruits who complain that olive really does nothing for their complexion and really don't want to be there? But there must be some way of doing good that would help make us be more aware of the world outside our bubble.

[carly]

Hmm…I don’t think it’s the exclusivity of the site that’s awful, it’s the motivations of people who choose to sign up. No matter how you look at it, it’s gross.

Curiosity about that led me to sign up for BP to see who was trying to join—and how they were being rated. And it’s very sad really….a whole bunch of people, male and female, seem to need the validation of strangers—or I guess they think they’re incredibly “beautiful” and want to show off...meet other show-offs like themselves.

One woman—wife of a marine and mother of 3 children—had applied for membership---for what reason I can’t imagine (validation? what more validation would you need beyond a husband and 3 kids?) because this BP thing is just another dating service (and an expensive one at over $300 a year!). The marine wife—along with a lot of people I thought were just fine looking---was rejected, poor thing. Actually, most people were on their way to being rejected, many of them in the category “No! Not at all!” Ouch….

But not this creepy dude who calls himself “Fat Freddy the Rich”--39 years old-- who submitted a picture of himself naked from the waist up, listed his income as “$1,000,000+" and this profile (which I copied and pasted exactly as he wrote it:

“I am a humorous and Itelligent Man. I am looking for a woman who can keep up with my fast paced lifestyle. I do many things by myself because I don't need a leech on my arm. I want a partner not a dog. i am not sorry about being blunt. Hell, this is the beautiful people network”

Fat Freddy—obviously—is on his way to being voted in—by a huge margin--in the “Yes! Certainly!” category. Hmmm….not a great looking dude...So do we think it’s his “itelligence” that makes him “beautiful”? Or maybe it’s that brash articulation of his philosophy of life: Wow. A 39 year old man who does things by himself….doesn’t want a dog or a leech… blunt--o yeah...ooh baby…

Draft? Hmmm….I’m not sure that a stint in the military would change someone like this---he’d just use it as line in his resume. And besides---Mogsy would you really want someone like this on your team?

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