18 Things that Ruffle the Pigeon's Feathers

The list actually goes up to 21, but its really only 18 points:

1.  When I go to mail a bill, and the return envelope has a big square in the upper right-hand corner that says, "PLACE STAMP HERE.  POST OFFICE WON'T MAIL WITHOUT POSTAGE."  Hello, I've been writing letters since I was 4 or 5 years old.  I think I can figure out where the stamp goes.

2.  Why doesn't toilet paper come with directions?  Condoms do; so do enemas (no, I don't know that from first-hand experience).  The way TP is advertised, you'd think we'd only use to rub against our faces.  Frankly, I think it's a skill many are lacking.

3.  Any common object that's Infrared powered.  For example, have you ever used public facilities, gone to wash your hands (which I hope you do), and had to wave your hand like a madman in front of the IR sensor to get the [PIGEONED] faucet to work?  What happened to the good old fashioned handle?

4.  People who don't wash their hands after using public facilities.

5.  How come hot dogs come in packs of 8 and buns come in packs of 10?

6.  When highway cones are set up to close a lane of traffic for miles, yet there's no discernible work actually taking place.

7.  Guys named Richard who go by, "Dick."  It's so... uncouth.

8.  Morning radio shows.  Unless it's NPR, when I turn on the radio I expect to hear music, not a bunch of DJ's who think they're funny talking for hours and hours.  And hours.  A few are decent (such as the Greaseman during his DC101 glory days), but most are about as entertaining as watching golf.  Just shut the [PIGEONED] up and play the [PIGEONED] music!

9.  Golf.

10.  When something is named using the, "place/location" construct instead of, "location/Place;" such as, "The Estates at Stinking Brook, in place of, "Stinking Brook Estates."  The former just drips with aristocratic snobbery.  It's even worse when its used to describe a mobile home park or the like.

11.  PowerPoint is the sign of the decline of Western Civilization as we know it.

12.  Why athletes b[PIGEONED]ch about making $5 million a year instead of $8 million--I think they should make minimum wage.

13.  ...Or lawyers and CEOs, for that matter.  But I suppose they can make more than minimum wage, since in most cases they actually work.

14.  Medical clinics that make you show up 20 minutes early for an appointment, but then make you sit for an hour reading a 1998 "Newsweek" once you get there.  And getting charged $50 just for walking through the door is always a nice touch.

15.  Rich folks who buy acres and acres of land and then close it off to the public (even worse if its an outsider closing it off to the locals).

16.  Civilian HUMMERS. I drove a no-kidding military HUMVEE for 4 years.  They suck.  How about saving your status symbol money and spending it on something sensible?

17.  (MOGS) You mean, like your 1971 Dodge Polara that only gets... what, 9 MPG?

18. 

19.  Lawmakers who blame school, video games, morning cartoons, music, clothiers, gun makers, breweries, publishers, etc. for poor behavior in kids, and make laws to protect them accordingly.  I thought parents were responsible for teaching their children right from wrong?

20.  (MOGS) Buying a DVD one week--only to see the, "extended, uncut, uncensored uberdirector's edition," released a week later.

21.   Add yours here! 

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Comments

[Lady Penelope]

I think I agree with just about all of those. Yep. Yep, Yep ... damn. spot on.

[Chairman Tao]

What ruffles my feathers ?

Lists.

Sorry.

[Stella]

...Slow drivers, Bill O'Reilly, smokers

[C-Chan]

I used to think there should be a special circle in hell for people who don't signal a turn or changing lane with their blinkers. Then recently I heard that some people (in the second category anyway) are not doing it because they are lazy, it's because if they signal, the car two lengths behind them will speed up and block the merge.

[marie]

What ruffles my feathers ?

The word guru when applied
to the internet marketers.

Marie

[profmarcus]

"Civilian HUMMERS. I drove a no-kidding military HUMVEE for 4 years. They suck. How about saving your status symbol money and spending it on something sensible?"

how about the international cxt...?

http://takeitpersonally.blogspot.com/2005/08/toys-run-amok.html

[Andy Glover]

People who care more about short term gains or savings over long term planning really burns me.

People who show rudeness toward me and then look at me with the expression of disgust as if I had been rude to them in on my list as well